Kaiser Mommy

Choose Joy. Every Time.

We miss us.

There’s a little cloud over our home tonight. Scout and I spent the last five days having drinks and laughing and talking to our friends. Our friends. In person. In their home. In our home. We spent two nights with my brother Forbes and family. When we arrived home in the land of the vices we had the Taters waiting for us. The Taters took their time falling for our.. Read More

Here’s yer sign

We went to eat the other night – we’ll call the place Bob’s. Hostess (as she’s walking us to our table): Have you ever eaten at Bob’s before? Me: no Hostess: So is this your first time? I paused for a moment, hoping she would realize what she’d said. I mean, we all say stupid things. She didn’t get it.

Must …. pimp …. product …..

I’m whoring for free again. But I saw these over at Cool Mom Picks and I just can’t help myself. I want everything in this shop. Girl stuff, boy stuff… all of it.. http://www.naturalpod.com/shop/

Home Again Home Again

Jiggety jig. Home Again, Home Again, I ate like a pig. No, seriously. I ate my weight in … whatever I could get my hands on and then I had drinks too! Thanks for sticking around and playing while I was gone – I have tons of comments to reply to, an interview to send out …. AND …. I have great bra stories! My bra shopping has a happy.. Read More

How to clean out a pantry

18 months ago, I started a diet plan recommended by my brother Forbes (no, I’m not mentioning it by name, they aren’t paying me, and I’ve free whored enough stuff this week). Number one on the list of things to do was clear out the high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated blah-b’blah from the house. I ended up with a small pile of offenders on the countertop. On the countertop.. Read More

Happy Feet

Just before Christmas, when I was in 2nd grade, the music teacher asked two other girls and me to sing a solo to our class. The other two girls were very shy and embarrassed about it. I, on the other hand, belted it out. I knew the song, so I sang it loud ‘n proud ‘n on key. That night, my mom got a phone call from the high school.. Read More

MILF

Look, I get it. I get that the whole MILF thing has evolved into some dumb ass “you must be perfect and look as if you’ve never been pregnant or looked at a cookie” mentality. I get that Britney gets called fat just because she doesn’t look like she used to – and that’s wrong. I get that Salma Hayek is taking a ration of shit because she actually looks.. Read More

Interview Questions

SAHMmy of SAHMmy Says had this little blog go-around. And I came to it by way of What Works for Us Leave me a comment saying ?¢‚Ǩ?ìInterview me.?¢‚Ǩ¬ù I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions. If you don?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t have a valid email address on your blog, please provide one. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions… Read More

Workin’ a nerve

*This post is going to be all about boobs. In keeping with my prior entries, please go check this out. She’s my new hero.* I have boobs. Big boobs. I could share boobs with each of my readers and still not end up flat chested. Pregnancy and nursing, not doing me any favors. I get really pissed off when I have to go bra shopping. I also get really pissed.. Read More

Baby Food

So, even though I’ve read time and again that babies really are better off on exclusive breast milk till 6 months old, and I really prefer this idea over the whole tiny bits of packaged and mushy food (have I mentioned how much I *hate* mushy food?) when our pediatrician said we could start giving Alex food at 4 months we went straight to the grocery store. See, I’m barely.. Read More

Organic Sheets

On the cheap. I used the 20% off coupon and got a set of full sheets for 34 bucks. Then I got the crappy 20 dollar polyester gross mattress pad. Sigh. But it’s all about baby steps right? I’m less in love with them now that I’ve washed and dried them because they wrinkle like a mutha. But I’ll get over it, especially since it might be because I had.. Read More

Fitness Friday – for Flinger

Oh alliteration, you are SO much fun! (The Flinger reference is for her.) Knowing that I was due to deliver in April, it was safe to say that I had no expectations of being in my normal two piece by summer. (To explain, I buy 2 pieces b/c my top and bottom are so out of proportion to each other that I don’t normally have much of a choice in.. Read More